Who Needs Alignment: Shower Doors Alignment

Have you ever wondered about your two sliding shower doors? The ones I have were aligned when I moved in. After about two weeks, they started getting funny! I would put them back but not for long. These were supposed to be new doors by the way! After five months, I gave up since the maintenance men had come on two occasions and seemingly put them back in place. I gave up, for pushing them up involved lifting them for proper alignment in the shafts for the pulleys to run well. They were quite inconveniencing. Visitors came and went. After two months, I finally called back Maintenance and they seemingly fixed them again. However, these door occasionally slide out when one is in the shower and you just have to fix them. So I would seemingly fix them! There came a point where the left side was on the right side and the right side was on the left side. For three months I have been opening them like this. When a door is on the wrong side, you see it and there is space left. I tried my best but could not align them the right sides. The mechanic in me was just frustrated! If I were still a perfectionist, I would have lost my peace of mind. Not me anymore! Life is worth more enjoying than fixing wrongs all the time!

Today, as I entered the shower, the doors did their thing again of misaligning. I was already running the water! I was thought that it would be a quick fix as usual! Wapi! With both my hands, and water running, which I hate for I don't like to waste water, I had to fix the doors! With determination, I started again while looking up to see the wheels / pulleys and slot below. You would have seen me! When the pulleys up were in place, the door was out of the slot! I don't know how I did it after about five times, I finally had it! It just rolled in easily and started sliding smoothly. All those months, sliding them would be forced and I had to be quite careful!

With the doors sliding smoothly, I was so happy. Immediately, God spoke to me and said that He aligns our lives into a smooth slide like those doors. He would align my life too like them. Sometimes in life we struggle so much to keep things in shape. We try to align our lives but with no success! We may try to fix our lives but misalign them like those shower doors getting in the wrong side yet opening and closing but not all the way. Our lives may look like fine in our homes, jobs, marriages, relationships, social life, financial life, spiritual life or to self. Yet is may be just “kupanga”. To those who see us on the outside may think that all is alright, until they get near us or touch our lives like touching those shower doors trying to open them, then you would realise that they were not aligned.

So God, our Father wants us to invite Him in our lives to align us the way we should be. The way He has designed us to be aligned in our lives, in our homes, on our jobs, in our marriages, in our relationships, in our social lives, in our financial lives, in our spiritual lives or to self.

Allow the Chief Designer to align your life. God knows how the pulleys run and which slot to fit.

Amplified Bible (AMP)Psalm 139To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David.
1 O Lord, you have searched me [thoroughly] and have known me.
2 You know my downsitting and my uprising; You understand my thought afar off.
3 You sift and search out my path and my lying down, and You are acquainted with all my ways.
4 For there is not a word in my tongue [still unuttered], but, behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
5 You have beset me and shut me in—behind and before, and You have laid Your hand upon me.
6 Your [infinite] knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high above me, I cannot reach it.
7 Where could I go from Your Spirit? Or where could I flee from Your presence?
8 If I ascend up into heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in Sheol (the place of the dead), behold, You are there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning or dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 Even there shall Your hand lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me and the night shall be [the only] light about me,
12 Even the darkness hides nothing from You, but the night shines as the day; the darkness and the light are both alike to You.
13 For You did form my inward parts; You did knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I will confess and praise You for You are fearful and wonderful and for the awful wonder of my birth! Wonderful are Your works, and that my inner self knows right well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You when I was being formed in secret [and] intricately and curiously wrought [as if embroidered with various colors] in the depths of the earth [a region of darkness and mystery].
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance, and in Your book all the days [of my life] were written before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them.
17 How precious and weighty also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
18 If I could count them, they would be more in number than the sand. When I awoke, [could I count to the end] I would still be with You.

Gifted for Leadership: Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead

Gifted for Leadership: Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead

Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead

A book review by Julie Pierce

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Why I picked up this book:
I read Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In for several reasons: 1) I had seen Sheryl’s TED Talk on why there are so few women leading and resonated with her message and style. 2) As the COO of Facebook, Sheryl consistently makes the “lists.” You know, like the Forbes and TIME “most powerful” and “most influential” lists they create each year. 3) There still aren’t a lot of leadership books written by women at this level of leadership telling not only personal stories but also leadership lessons.

Who should read Lean In:
Every leader should read this book. Men leaders should read this book for the leadership advice (it crosses gender lines) and the glimpse of what life is like for women leaders around them. Women leaders should read Lean In because Sheryl is a voice influencing change on our behalf.

What’s in store for you:
Lean In provides extensive research, experienced recommendations, and examples from real-life. Sheryl Sandberg’s writing style is like a well-educated, well-traveled cousin (not quite as intimate as an older sister). The book presents one challenge after another, so don’t expect a tell-all memoir you can put on your bookshelf and ignore when you’re done. Expect to wrestle.
Sandberg tackles some of the issues behind why women aren’t leading, like “the ambition gap” and the cultural norms we have learned and adapted (Chapter 2). She also devoted entire chapters to taking different approaches to our careers (Chapter 4: It’s a Jungle Gym Not a Ladder), mentoring (Chapter 5), and communication (Chapter 6: Seek and Speak Your Truth).
What I was most surprised by was the extensive content devoted to parenting and partnering with your spouse. I don’t know of another leadership book since the classic Choosing to Cheat, by Andy Stanley, that is as explicit about the struggle of juggling all the roles. That being said, Sandberg does not address aspects like spiritual, physical, and emotional health in leadership life and how these play into bringing your whole self to the table. She also does not offer quick and easy lists to becoming a C-suite leader: she is direct in her advice but nuanced in its application.
With discussion questions at the end of the book, you will be well equipped to have a meaningful dialogue with a team or a group of leader friends (like I did).
My personal takeaways:
When I consider the obstacles women face in secular leadership arenas, it seems a little absurd given that it’s 2013. When I add on the barriers women face in Christian leadership, like theological limitations to opportunities or gender roles in marriage, it goes beyond absurd to discouraging. Add on the fact that I live in the equivalent of the buckle of the Southern Bible belt, with all of its culturally appropriate behaviors, and I get really fired up.
The book fueled my passion for empowering Christian women leaders to lead in a ministry context. I was convicted to tell more of my story—to be honest with others about my leadership experiences in hopes that they will be encouraged and equipped to lead and pastor others. I also want to help redefine success for women leaders: as Sheryl wrote, it’s not about getting to the top of the ladder. I think it’s about leaning in to who God is creating us to be and leading with that woman in mind.
What my book club had to say:
Lean In led to some passionate discussion for an early Saturday morning. We felt the book affirmed our leadership gifts and goals in so many ways. This assertion from the book really struck us: “Staying quiet and fitting in may have been all the first generations of women who entered corporate America could do; in some cases it might still be.” If you replaced “corporate America” with “ministry,” this statement would still be true. Our group is lucky—we all have served in churches or ministries that valued our gifts and invited our voices. But we know the reality is our experience is still the minority when it comes to women leading in ministry.
Sheryl’s words challenged us to lead even more intentionally—to leverage our influence and prepare a better experience for the women behind us. We each asked what this would look like for us. For one, it was to be more visible—to put her name in the hat and not wait on someone to call on her. For another friend, her takeaway was to continue to speak up and challenge senior leadership. Just like the women leading before us, we must continue to take on the “firsts” in our leadership context so women in leadership roles behind us will move from being the exception to the expectation.
Twitter-worthy quotes:
“When negotiating, think personally, act communally.”
“Of all the ways women hold themselves back, perhaps the most pervasive is that they leave before they leave.”
“Done is better than perfect.”

Other books I would recommend along these lines:
Tough Choices by Carly Fiorina
No Higher Honor by Condoleezza Rice

Julie Pierce empowers leaders to change the world through coaching, consulting teams, and communicating with groups. You can follow her on Twitter at julie_pierce or read her leadership blog at www.empoweredbypierce.com .

The Dark Side of Wives Submitting to Husbands

 http://www.charismanews.com/opinion/40540-the-dark-side-of-wives-submitting-to-husbands

During a past ministry trip to Hungary, I heard a painfully familiar story. Through a translator, a tearful young woman living near Budapest explained that her Christian husband was angrily demanding her absolute submission. This included, among other things, that she clean their house according to his strict standards and that she engage in sexual acts with him that made her feel uncomfortable and dirty.
This lady was not demanding her rights or trying to be disrespectful. She was a godly, humble woman who obviously wanted to please the Lord. But she had been beaten to a pulp emotionally, and she was receiving little help from her pastor—who was either unwilling or unprepared to confront wife abuse.

 My Response
Some people really have a big problem with the exposure in this article. Many women know this exists and much worse among Christian husbands and especially pastors. I have heard such, wives young and old have told me, and I have seen it myself,. I usually challenge it and get so much opposition by those men and women who want to distort Christ's love and submission. It is the open secret and yet the secret in the closet. This domestic abuse has no boundaries, no colour bound even. Whit and Black, African, Asian, Caucasian, Chinese, Japanese. Many pastors' and ministers wives live with the Terror at home who is the Angel outside the home. Since they know what they are doing is bad, they stop their wives from talking about it with others! A wife is not a domestic slave neither a sexual slave! Sex is not a tool for abuse or control, no a weapon to strike God's people, women with- Genesis 1:26-28.  Men, husbands need to go back to the Altar, repent, seek forgiveness from God and their wives, have a clean slate, and start afresh. 

Teen Do You Want to Do What your Parents Do And Have

Jokes by Christians

A preacher 's son turned 16 and got his driver's license. He asked his father if he could drive the family car. His father told him to do a few things the preacher did before he could drive like a responsible person. Son, he said, you have to read the bible everyday, cut your hair and ----. The son went and came back to his father, thanked him for having asked him to read the Bible, told him that it was a good thing he had read the bible. Moses had long hair, Samson had long hair, even Jesus so he saw no reason in the Bible to cut his hair. His father said that was true, however wherever they went the walked. That had me laughing all till my sides were almost sore. So Preachers make jokes. 

This was a Brother who tells jokes for his living. 

Did not get his name, will try to.

What is Marriage

My Loveless Marriage

Why divorce wasn't the answer to my emptiness.

http://www.todayschristianwoman.com/articles/2006/january/14.46.html

After ten years of marriage, I wanted out. Our love hadn't died in the heat of this battle or any other battle. It had died at the bottom of a wall it couldn't climb.

I remember clearly the day I laid the first brick. We'd been married nine months. We went to a movie and I waited for Larry to reach over and take my hand, thus proving the magic was still there. But he didn't and, as the movie progressed, I grew hurt and angry. He shrugged it off, surprised I was upset over such a little thing. To him it was nothing; to me it was the first sign our love wasn't perfect.

As the years passed, I added more bricks. When we were first married, he called me every day from work. But slowly those phone calls grew further apart and finally stopped. When I brought it up, he started calling again, but it wasn't the same. When we watched TV in the evening, he'd fall asleep. When we went out for dinner, he couldn't think of anything to say. His days off were measured by how much he got done—chores, work, and the children took priority. I got the crumbs, and I was starving.

I felt guilty for feeling the way I did; he wasn't abusive, he didn't run around with other women, he didn't drink or do drugs. He came home every night and worked hard to support our family. Despite this, the wall grew, built with bricks of buried anger, unmet needs, silences, and cold shoulders. The marriage books we read made things worse; counseling confused the issues.

My Response
Thanks so much for being truthful, humble enough and obedient to God. Marriage is work and prayer. What I don't understand is why most times it is the wife to give in and change then the husband begins to change. This is a mystery God only knows. Marriage is not a quick fix, it is a give and take which has no written or mathematical formula. It is submission to one another, yet one has to start it. More important is to take your marriage to God and lay it all bare beginning with you. This is not easy and takes time. I am glad that God changed you in ways so profound that Larry was able to see it and also changed. It is amazing that you can now laugh at what used to annoy you. Friends for life which came with submission on your side to God  and asking Him into it. Many times men and women get married without knowing what true love is, giving of oneself to the other, selfless love. And without putting God in the center. God who knows the other person is the one who can unlock the love. 

Do You Want Your Husband To Change For the Better

The Prayers that Changed Husbands

When Tami Chelew got serious about talking to God about her mate, she couldn't believe what happened.

http://www.todayschristianwoman.com/articles/2008/september/prayers-that-changed-husbands.html?start=2

Wives In Prayer was born that first meeting. Tami and Cindy made a commitment to get together each week. Soon their friend Caryn joined them and then other women were calling, eager to be part of this unique group of praying wives. That was 11 years ago—and Tami is still hosting Wives in Prayer meetings in her home.

"I've seen God take my prayers and those of like-minded women and answer them beyond anything we could have hoped for or imagined," she says, still amazed at how much has occurred by simply praying.

No longer does Tami put the Bible at the foot of their bed as a reminder. Dan's faith is flourishing. Each morning before leaving for work, Dan reads his Bible for direction, wisdom, and strength for his day. And Tami watches in awe from the sidelines!

Wife or Husband, What Irritates You About Your Spouse

 The List That Saved My Marriage

What an inventory of my husband's shortcomings taught me

http://www.todayschristianwoman.com/articles/2008/september/list-that-saved-my-marriage.html?start=1

With a tear-stained, angry face, I walked into Mom's kitchen. She held the baby while I sobbed my declaration of independence. A washcloth and cup of coffee later, Mom told me she and Dad would help me. I was comforted to know they'd be there for me.

"But before you leave Bill," she said, "I have one task for you to complete."

Mom put down my sleeping son, took a sheet of paper and pen, and drew a vertical line down the middle of the page. She told me to list in the left column all the things Bill did that made him impossible to live with. As I looked at the dividing line, I thought she'd then tell me to list all his good qualities on the right hand side. I was determined to have a longer list of bad qualities on the left. This is going to be easy, I thought. My pen started immediately to scribble down the left column.

Bill never picked his clothes off the floor. He never told me when he was going outside. He slept in church. He had embarrassing, nasty habits such as blowing his nose or belching at the dinner table. He never bought me nice presents. He refused to match his clothes. He was tight with money. He wouldn't help with the housework. He didn't talk with me.

The list went on and on until I'd filled the page. I certainly had more than enough evidence to prove that no woman would be able to live with this man.